Family - My Thai Family

In the last blog entry I was talking about my biological father. I guess, somehow, it was time for me to think for myself and find my own way.

The definition of the word "family" has different meanings in the Western world and in Asia. Since I have lived and grown more or less in both worlds, I have to know what family means in these two worlds. In the Western culture, family often means mother, father, siblings, uncles, aunts and their children, and grandparents. In Thai culture, the definition of family includes all of what I mentioned, from both of your parent's sides, in addition to that we go all the way to whoever has the same last name as you, he/she is your family, and it is forbidden to marry with someone who has the same last name as you.

Which means that I probably do not know quarter of my family in Thailand. But as much as I know, we are a big family already.

I was told that my biological father is half Vietnamese. My grandfather was from Vietnam, but unfortunately he passed away before I was born. It explains a lot why strangers ask me if I come from Vietnam, because I do not have "the Thai-look". I do not know further about his sisters or brothers, but his aunty, which is the one I stay really close to. She has four children, and one of them is at the same age as me. We grew up pretty much together. I used to spend my summer holiday at her place. Even though she was born half year after me, I always was and still am tinier than her. I always get her clothes. We do not contact each other much these days, but our relation remains the same. I know that from my father's family, they own a school/college in Bangkok, called St. John. But I have no clue how close I am related with them. I remember, as a kid, we used to go and gave them greetings for New Year, then we would get some cash... But I never paid attention to knowing who they were, because I was thrilled by getting money and also that I was really young to think about it.

I am more close to my mom's family. She was one of the 10 kids my dearest grandmother gave birth to. Out of her nine siblings, I know eight of them. Her second oldest sister and the next youngest sister are the aunties I stay most close to. And they are also those two who my mom has best relation with as well. They used to babysit me when I was little. My mom and her siblings grew up in a village, so as far as I know, non of them had high education. And their children, so far it is just one who possibly had finished a bachelor degree. And it seems like I am the next one on that list. Education became an important factor in Thailand during the time I grew up. In the time that my mom was young, earning money and send it back home was the thing, not education. Because they first of all could not afford it and second that they were not born to be smart enough to have an education. In the society of Thailand today, unfortunately the degree that your son or daughter gets, is for parents to show off.

I do not think I have the need to know every member of my family in Thailand. I barely can handle those I have, with all their names, relations, what they are up to and so on. But I admit that no matter how long you have been away, the family bond will remain and stay as strong as it always has been. The bond with me and my aunties is still the same today, we just act and talk differently, because I have grown. And sometimes, I do things that surprises them, because some parts of me has changed to be more Western. But they never hated me. It was just something they did not expect from me, I guess. But with all my respect, I love my family in Thailand and I am grateful to have them, close to far and far to close.

I always look forward to go back for a holiday. Not because I go there very seldom, but my family always welcomes me and also whoever I bring with me. My aunties always make my favorite dishes when I am there and I eat till my stomach is about to explode every time they cook.

To my friends, if you read this: You will have to change your entrance door, if you go with me to Thailand!

-Patch